Bloody Holiday
by fairymargarita
Summary: It's Christmas Day. I thought I would only see a simple conversation. Maybe I would find out why my husband Drake's brohter hated me so much, but I guess my curiousity got the best of me. DrakeJosh.
1. Bloody Holiday

Disclaimer: I am no way affiliated with "Drake & Josh", I merely worship it.

**Bloody Holiday**

Chapter One: Bloody Holiday

_Love is such a Bloody Holiday_

Drake and I had been married seven years. We had three beautiful children: Jude, Lucy and Eleanor. I sacrificed everything for my family. When I met Drake I had already established a career of my own. I worked hard to become what I was – successful. All of that, however, took a back seat when I became pregnant with Jude. Drake and I quietly got married in the presence of our families and away from the press. Our nuptials were only revealed a week later when Drake brought me on stage, a romantic serenade to his new wife. It was that moment that I decided I was the luckiest girl in the world.

I gave birth to Jude while we were on the road. We were in Green Bay. Two years later Lucy was born in Milwaukee. When I found out I was pregnant with Eleanor I almost stayed home in Los Angeles, determined not to have another child in Wisconsin. Drake convinced me to come with him on tour, promising we'd be home for the due date. Eleanor came early. We were in Madison when I went into labor. I convinced the bus driver to haul ass to Minnesota. Eight hours later Eleanor was born in a Minneapolis hospital. I loved my beautiful, Mid-West babies.

We spent the holidays at Drake's parents, mostly because my parents were too busy to even notice we weren't coming. They never wanted to have a child, much less grandchildren. I brought the kids to their house once in Sacramento. It ended in a priceless broken vase, screams and tears. We never visited them again. Audrey and Walter were different. They always treated me as their own, even when Drake and I had just stated seeing each other. They also loved the kids and spoiled them crazy. I think that's why Christmas was always my favorite.

I got on well with Drake's sister, Megan. She was stunning really. I envied her Parker family looks. Drake's step-brother, Josh, however, well, we never really hit it off. He almost didn't come to the wedding and when he did he looked at me with such hate. I thought it was me, but later found out otherwise.

Drake never toured over Christmas. He knew it was my favorite time of year and he wouldn't dare let me down. He knew how much I loved Walter, Audrey and Megan and Christmas was the only time I ever got them all together outside of touring. Josh would stop over every year, although he never seemed to enjoy the company as much as I did.

Jude was seven, Lucy was five and Eleanor was four. Jude played on his new guitar, a smaller version of his hero, his father, while the girls played with their Christmas gift from Megan, a glamour makeup kit. Lipstick was smeared all over their faces. Our children were innocent, beautiful. Jude was so much like Drake, you would think he spawned from him asexually. Lucy and Eleanor, however, resembled me greatly. They had my blond hair, my small nose and full lips. Their eyes, however, were all Drake's.

Josh had actually given me a present that year – the soundtrack to "Wicked." He smiled smugly to himself when he noticed that unlike me, Drake didn't seem to get the joke. I didn't mind however, because that was the year I bought him a thigh master.

I noticed how hesitant Drake appeared when Josh pulled them aside to have their usual chat in the old bedroom they had shared. I was foolish to follow them but I remembered once Megan told me how she used to spy on her brothers and in result, torturing them mercilessly. I excused myself to her room. To my dismay all of the equipment was still set up. I was however thrilled with the prospect of finally finding out what it was that made Drake seem so angry and distant after these little chats. Maybe, I thought, I would find out why Josh never warmed up to me.

I regret turning on that television, the one hooked up to a hidden camera cleverly placed in the boys' old room. How was I to know what I would see? What I would hear? I had no way of knowing, I tell myself now. Part of me now wishes that I did.


	2. I Know

**Bloody Holiday**

Chapter Two: I Know

_Baby, give me a sign, give me a reason, make up your mind_

"I can't believe you're still with that bitch, you know she is the Yoko to your Lennon," Josh spitted harshly at Drake, keeping a steady hold of Drake's forearm. Josh had an expression other than hate on his face, I thought maybe denial but I'm still not sure. After seven years of seeing the same distaste, a look of disgust, I was taken aback to see anything but. Josh leaned in closer to Drake. I detected desperation.

"How many times do I need to tell you man, I'm not leaving her," Drake pulled away, pacing in front of what had been Josh's bed. My heart lurched, pounding out of my chest. "Not now, anyways."

Hot tears flushed to my face. _Not now? _How long had Drake been thinking about leaving me? My thoughts traveled to outside of me. The kids, I thought, would grow up in a broken home. I should've walked away, but my curiosity got the best of me. I locked the door to Megan's old room and curled up in the bed. I thought, somehow, this would make me safe. Nothing could penetrate my heart.

It must have started when my mind was elsewhere. Josh was kissing Drake, his brother, my husband. A lump in my throat formed along with a desire to scream. I gagged at the bitter taste of bile creeping steadily into my mouth. I wanted to turn away; I should've turned away. I didn't. I watched as Drake pulled away, a look of surprise on his face.

"Dude, not cool, my wife and kids are in the living room! Not to mention Mom, Dad and Megan," Drake warned Josh sternly. I was disappointed, however, by the lack of anger in his voice.

"Drake, I can't do this anymore. I'm going loony without you," Josh put his hands around Drake's waist. His filthy, pudgy hands.

I imagined breaking down the door, screaming. I wanted to smack what I could only suspect to be Josh's "seductive" look right off his fat little face. I hated him, more than I had ever hated anyone before. My hate soon became directed at Drake as well. How could he let Josh nuzzle up close to him? To touch him? Those looking in who didn't know any better would have thought they were a couple. Josh took Drake's hand and Drake accepted this gesture. I thought right there I would die on Megan's bed. Audrey and Walter would have to remove my body while my kids were still playing with their new Christmas presents.

Drake and Josh were now together on the bed. I chose then to try to remember anything I could've done to avoid discovering their relationship this way. Drake had never given me any sort of indication that he was also of the same-sex persuasion. We had met at a party. At the time, I had been casually seeing their heir to some major department store. He wasn't much of a conversationalist, but I hung out with him because it was good press. He got me into some of the coolest parties, a great feat because I was only 19 at the time. He got the club owners to look the other way when I would drink a martini or snort a line. Then there was Drake. He, like everyone else in young Hollywood, went to clubs in hopes of being seen with the right people. His album was going to be released in a few months; he needed all the publicity he could get.

The moment our eyes had locked I knew I would marry him someday. He walked over to my table so suavely; I had completely forgotten department store heir was even with me.

"Hi," he whispered in my in ear. His breath sent tingles down my spine. "My name is Drake Parker and you are way too beautiful not to know me."

That night I left the party with Drake. The next week we were moving in together. The tabloids had a field day. Their All-American girl had gone head first into this relationship with notorious flirt and rocker, Drake Parker. Rumors flew. All of America seemed to know I was pregnant even before I did. Immediately my drinking stopped and so did the drugs. Drake was there for me through every withdrawal, through every pain. It wasn't long before we were married. I couldn't think of a time I had ever questioned his love for me. We were soul mates.

I moved my attention back to the television screen. They were still on the bed, their foreheads pressed together like lovers do. Drake looked so serene, like he was in pure bliss. It was an expression I recognized, the look he had on his face every time we were about to make love. That expression belonged to me. My heart fluttered, then broke. Josh kissed Drake again, but this time Drake didn't pull away.


	3. Somehow

Disclaimer: I have no affiliation with the production and crew of "Drake & Josh". The following is based off of characters created by Dan Schneider, but the featured story is mine.

**Bloody Holiday**

Chapter Three: Somehow

_She falls to her knees, screaming God please_

Breathe, I thought to myself, he'll pull away soon. I certainly was wrong. It was probably only a minute, but it seemed like I had been watching them kiss for hours. Drake finally pulled away but this time he remained speechless. He looked so beautiful but it was all wrong. He wasn't supposed to look at his stepbrother that way.

"I missed that," Josh nuzzled his head against Drake's chest, the same way I did every night before we went to sleep and every morning before we got out of bed.

Drake sighed, pushing Josh off him, "I'm over this, Josh. You had your chance before I met Kristen." I gasped at the sound of my name; it was the first time I heard it slip out of his mouth during this entire ordeal. "I told you how I felt ten years ago. Do you remember what you said to me, Josh? You said you were in love with Mindy. Where's Mindy now, Josh? I'll tell you where Mindy is; she's married to Crazy Steve. CRAZY STEVE, Josh! You lost your chance with me, and it is definitely over with Mindy. All this ends tonight."

I was proud, sort of, by the way Drake told Josh off. That's right, I thought, he loves me.

"I was wrong about Mindy, Drake. The same way you're wrong about that heinous woman. I don't know what you see in her. She's way too smart for you Drake, I mean, her IQ is insane. You're only into her because she used to be some hot Hollywood actress, but all that's over now that she has you to leech off of. I mean, some of those guys she used to date before you? Drake, they had billions. BILLIONS. I wouldn't be surprised if she still had their numbers stashed somewhere, waiting for the day you leave her, or keel over, so she can suck them dry. She's a succubus, Drake. SUCCUBUS!" Josh's face was red with fury. I sure did make him mad.

"You only say that because I'm with her and not you," Drake shot back, pointing his finger hard into Josh's chest.

"Yeah, well, isn't that a good enough reason? I mean, you only started dating her to make me jealous," Josh smiled, happy with himself and his twisted demeanor.

I cried. Drake did little to nothing to deny this claim. How, I though, could I not notice this?

"That doesn't change the fact that I love her now, Josh. I love Kristen, not you," Drake reasoned with his stepbrother. Almost trying to let him down easy. Josh dived at Drake for a kiss. Drake accepted it, again.

"You keep saying that, yet, you still let me kiss you," Josh grinned eerily. "Explain that, Parker."

Drake stared at Josh solemnly, " I can't."

"Can't, Drake? Or won't?"

"Fuck you, Josh. You always do this, you play your little mind games knowing I won't understand them," Drake looked at Josh, frustrated. He stood up and paced the length of the bedroom. I recognized this as his 'thought walk'. His face was flustered; I could tell he was stuck.

"No, fuck you, Drake. You're the one that always makes me come to this family Christmas knowing damn well I'm going to bring you back here, the first place we made love in. Every year you let me in," Josh licked his lips with a smile. "What makes this different Drake? Kristen finally off breast feeding or something so now she's a really good fuck?"

Suddenly Josh was on the floor. My heart felt on the brink of exploding. Drake had punched Josh for what he said about me. I wanted to be happy about this, but the words that escaped Josh's lips before his low blow still clung to the air. They made love?

I heard a knock on the door. I seriously contemplated not answering, but I did. Whoever was at the door knew I was in there and wasn't about to leave. I turned off the TV.

"Yeah?" I called out meekly.

"Kristen? It's Megan. Lucy and Eleanor are looking for you. Are you ok?" her soothing voice felt like a melody to my ears. I had almost forgotten Megan, Audrey, Walter and the kids were on the other side of these walls the whole time.

"Yeah, I'm just tired. You never know how much you're on the road until you come home," I lied straight through my teeth. "Can you just tell them Mommy's taking a nap and she'll be out soon?"

"Sure thing, Kiki," she called me by the family nickname. I had listened to her footsteps gradually walk away before turning on the television. I breathed a sigh of relief. I didn't miss anything. Josh was still on the ground, moaning, and I still had an ounce of respect left for my husband. Even if he had fucked his brother.

Authors Note:

Ok. I know you guys are reading. The hit count is off the charts! Please, please review! I'd love to know how you feel about the plot and how you think it should continue (although, the end is already written, I will gladly take comments and criticism). Thank you!


	4. Down We Fall  In The End

Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with "Drake & Josh", but the featured story is mine

**Bloody Holiday**

Chapter Four: Down We Fall / In The End

_And all I can say is you saved me / In the end are you stronger do you no longer need to recover_

It was then a dream came back to me, or at least I had thought it was a dream. After that night I had reason to reconsider. Drake and I had been living together for maybe two weeks. What I know is real is how drunk we were and how Josh was waiting for us in the driveway once we got home from the club. The line of coke in the bathroom was real and so was the yelling, all the insults Josh threw my way.

"You're just a little coke head aren't you?" he yelled after me. "Do me a favor and stay away from Drake."

What I dreamt, or thought I had, was walking into my bedroom, the one I shared with Drake, and seeing him naked, moaning. Josh was beneath him. Drake was inside of him, pulsing back and forth In my dream I went to the house of an ex-boyfriend. In reality I woke up on the bathroom floor half-naked with drool coming from my mouth.

The cold sensation of waking up on that frigid tile soared throughout my body. I closed my eyes for a bit, my entire relationship, my marriage with Drake flashing before me. I opened them, the memories had not comforted me a bit.

On the screen Josh tried to push himself up but Drake kicked him in the stomach, making a quiet thud.

"Don't even try, Josh," Drake combed his hair with his fingers. "I've gained some muscle tone since we were younger."

Josh stifled a laugh, "Yeah, and Walter's gotten a better haircut."

"This isn't a joke, Josh. We need to get whatever is left in our systems out because I don't think I can handle this anymore," Drake reasoned, his voice dripped with desperation. "I need to know you can move on."

"Why? I just want to know why you want to end it now. I mean, before you never minded us sneaking around," Josh mumbled into the floor.

"I wouldn't call it sneaking around, Josh," Drake put a hand to his mouth and played with his lips, pulling them out as if he didn't know what to say. "I mean, sure, we fooled around maybe once a year since I married Kristen, but it wasn't a relationship."

I could barely see Josh's face, but from what I could tell he was disappointed. He had held onto every last thread of Drake and Drake was having none of it as far as I could tell. I almost felt sorry for him then.

"When did you fall in love with Kristen," Josh asked, still stationary on the floor, "and out of love with me?"

Drake sat on the bed deep in thought. I could tell he wanted to choose his words carefully, as if not to hurt his brother any more than he already had.

"Well, you know Kristen. She was this famous, famous actress and she was paying attention to some hyped up musician like me when she could've had any millionaire she wanted. I guess I fell in love with her after I saw the first movie she had made after we moved in together," Drake said pensively. He smiled, "You know, that was the one she wrote? I just remember how excited she was when it was picked up by the studio. I remember she told me she wasn't going to star in it but the studio wanted her to after they saw her in the auditions, yelling at the actresses and telling them how to portray her characters because apparently they weren't cutting it for her. She was so sure of herself then, despite the drugs. After filming wrapped we found out she was pregnant with Jude and she quit all of it. She quit the drugs, the alcohol and acting. She gave all of it up for me and Jude. That's when I fell in love with her, Josh. That's when I knew I would be with her forever."

I cried. Josh cried. Drake cried.

"Then why were you messing around with me?" Josh asked.

Drake pursed his lips before answering, "Because I still love you, just not in the same way. I wasn't entirely sure how to let you go until now."

Josh pulled himself up, keeping his defenses up. To his surprise Drake didn't kick him back onto the floor. Josh regained his balance, setting himself on the bed next to Drake, but being careful not to touch him. I was amazed then how much I was able to read Josh. He was never one to hide his emotions.

"I don't want to loose you," Josh said. "Remember that time you made me miss my Chemistry test and I didn't talk to you for two weeks?"

Drake laughed, "Of course I do."

"Remember how to told me 'I need you more than you need me'?"

"Yes," Drake answered, unsure of where the conversation was leading.

"Well, I realized something. Drake, I need you. I need you more than you need me. I can't imagine my life without you," Josh whispered, his head down.

"You'll never be without me," Drake put his hand on his shoulder in a way I was comfortable with. They finally looked like brothers instead of lovers. "You'll just never get to feel this fine ass ever again."

Josh tried to stifle a laugh but I could tell he was heartbroken.

"Hug me brotha?" Drake asked with his arms open. Josh accepted, hugging Drake for dear life.

That was five years ago to the day. We're still on the road all the time and the kids are finally having their uncle Josh in their life more than just one day a year. Josh still looks at Drake the way he did in that bedroom Christmas day, but his look to me as softened a bit. Granted, we're not on the best of terms, for Christmas this year he gave me "Mean Girls" on DVD, but its a start.

I never told anyone what I saw that day until now. I guess, I just needed to let it all out on the table because my relationship with Drake has never been the same. Maybe this will help, maybe not, but it's a start. Right?

Authors Note: Thank you guys! Your reviews meant so much to me! This is the end, but don't fret a sequel is in the works from the perspective of another character. I haven't decided which one yet, but it won't be Drake or Josh since the person would be telling it about them from their observation, so if you are dying to hear from Walter, Audrey, Megan or even one of the kids let me know! xxoo


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